Let’s try this again


This is my second attempt at writing this blog post. Note to self: Don’t write in WordPress, where one misplaced tap of the screen causes everything to be lost. Maybe this one will be an improvement over version one.

Welcome to Day 3 of unemployment, or as I like to call it, “Dispatches from the couch.” I took The Kid to school today, something I get to enjoy doing again. It’s like a traffic jam of little bodies in bundled up jackets looking for the right door to enter. Kind of like life. Hordes of gleeful children with no expectations or crushed dreams. Give it time, kiddies, give it time.

After dropping The Kid off, I realized my zipper was down the entire time. Hey, teacher, I thought it was show and tell day! When I returned home, I left the zipper down. No reason to expel more energy than necessary. I’ve has 10 weeks of straight work and now I am exhausted.

So with Anthony Bourdain as my background writing companion (this episode he’s in Lyon, France with Daniel Boulud), I’m wondering when the societal expectations kick in that I need to be a productive and money-earning member of the employed masses. How long do I get before it’s no longer acceptable? I need to know.

“You get one day of leisure, now you need to get off your ass and do something!”

The internet is filled with inspiring quotes pushing you to feel compassion, to follow your own path, to not worry about what others think, to keep negativity out, and remember to put on pants. I’m one for taking some encouragement from these posts as much as the next insecure person looking for direction, but really, thanks for pointing out all the mistakes I’ve made and make me feel worse about myself! You know I have no job. Yeah, that blew up in your face didn’t it? “

Where are the memes that say, “I know you can do nothing today!” or “That bum print on the couch is coming along nicely.” Or, “Yes, it is ok to be in your PJs at 1:45p.m.” That’s the kind of societal motivation I need.

I have a list of things to do today, some of which might actually get accomplished. Like getting bread. I bought bread. And grapes. Yeah, I did that. That’s right. But try and find yard waste bags in mid-November in Canada. Can’t find those among the shovels and Christmas lights.


Lists are curious things. Lists are for people who need a printed reminder that their memory is shit. I can’t remember a damn thing, something The Kid likes to remind me of constantly. You know why I write lists? So I can prove that I’ve actually accomplished something, no matter how trivial. Lists are not foolproof, however. I’ve added things to lists after I’ve actually done them to make it appear as though I had they day all planned out ahead of time. Truth. Oh, but the satisfaction of crossing an item off the list…

Small steps…

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